MLP:FIM Retrospective: Season One

When I took the job, I braced myself for criticism, expecting many people — without even watching the show — to instantly label it girly, stupid, cheap, for babies or an evil corporate commercial. I encourage skeptics like this to watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic with an open mind. If I’m doing my job right, I think you’ll be surprised.

— Lauren Faust

By the end of the 2000’s, the My Little Pony franchise was more or less a joke. Sure, they had a halfway decent, for the time at least, cartoon in the 1980’s, however, a combination of the other series from the same time, My Little Pony Tales, and a string of garbage straight to VHS movies had turned the franchise into something for girls too poor to afford Barbie.

As such, Hasbro had an uphill battle if they wanted the franchise to last past the 2010’s. So, they had a new, inventive, idea: Why not actually try to make something that appeals to a general audience? This may sound obvious now, but at the time, this was a revolutionary idea.

Remember, this was just after the late 2000’s re-established the animation age ghetto, or that idea that cartoons were only ever to be liked by children. Of course, this was because the cartoons being pumped out by the major networks (Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, and Disney Channel) were total garbage, but that’s a rant for another day.

The idea was first pitched to Hasbro by Lauren Faust, who was a fan of the series as a little girl, and, oh yeah, the wife of Craig McCracken, Cartoon Network all star who created The Powerpuff Girls and Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends.

Faust later said she basically made the show based on what she would have wanted to watch as a nine-year-old girl. Is this a sign that Faust had odd taste, or that Hasbro had no idea how to market to little girls while trying to make a line of toys for little girls? Seriously, have you ever looked at the credit’s for a Generation three episode — I hope not because that would require watching them, which I would not recommend. It’s almost all men writing for little girls — makes you think.

Confound this company, it drives me to drink.

Trying to find out exactly how much creative control Faust had at the start is kind of hard — although the answer is unanimously considered to be “not as much as she deserved.” Faust only ever wrote three episodes, the opening two-parter and episode three, which she co-wrote with Amy Keating Rogers. Faust had filled the staff with people she had previously worked with, making the crew for Season One her, Amy Keating Rogers, Cindy Morrow (who still does not have a Wikipedia page), Chris Savino — yes, that Chris Savion, it was a different time, Meghan McCarthy, Charlotte Fulerton — who is most known for her work on Ben 10 and also wrote the fun facts entry on the DVD for High School Musical, M.A. Larson, and Dave Polsky — most known for creating The Buzz On Maggie and co-writing Scary Movie 2.

I should also note, the first season was the only season of the show to have the Educational/Information rating. While the show was always TV-Y, the e/i rating basically set additional standards that more or less meant the show had to give children a good example. According to Faust, this rating made it so having one character call enough an “egghead” was considered “treading a very delicate line,” for example. (This is also why, starting in Season Two, we get some good nightmare fuel — but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.)

Although they still let this reference get past the censors:

Rarity: Oh! Uh, goodness. Uh, I do believe I have another engagement scheduled for this evening that completely slipped my mind until just now. [nervous laugh] Ah, silly me, I can’t possibly stay here all night — with Applejack. [reading] Slumber 101: All You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask.

Ask your parents kids! Although if you’re old enough to where your parents will tell you you could more than likely look it up yourself — never mind.

I mention this because I want to stress how big of a risk this was. A My Little Pony series created by the writers of some of the most beloved cartoons of the last decade? A series trying to capture a general audience based on a cartoon that had spent the past twenty-five years trying to appeal to a stereotype of little girls? This show was not even on one of the big three network’s, instead going to the Hub Network, which is owned by Hasbro.

On 10/10/2010, we saw the end result. That day, the first episode, Friendship Is Magic Part 1 (also sometimes called Mare In The Moon) premiered.

The plot of this episode is simple, one thousand years ago Princess Celestia sent Princess Luna to the moon after Luna tried to hold a coup against her sister. You think I’m joking? Listen to how her actions are described:

Narrator: [Luna] vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night.

Yeah, considering Celestia literally raises the Sun, the only way she could do that would be to hold a coup. When one pony, Twilight Sparkle, notices the thousand year anniversary is coming up, she sends Twilight to Ponyville:

Spike: [Reading a letter from the princess] My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony’s life than studying, so I’m sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year’s location: Ponyville. And, I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends!

There she meets Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. All five of which Twilight starts out hating, however, they all manage to grow on her after they decide to help save her life.

At the end of the first part, Luna, known as Nightmare Moon in this form, comes back. Using the Elements of Harmony, with each pony representing one of the elements, they vaporize Nightmare Moon and turn her back into Princess Luna. Luna is then never seen for the rest of the season, I assume because she’s spending her new found time playing video games.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of… honesty! Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of… kindness! Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of… laughter! Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift represents the spirit of… generosity! And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart’s desire represents the spirit of… loyalty! The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us.

Nightmare Moon: You still don’t have the sixth Element! The spark didn’t work!

Twilight Sparkle: But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all… are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the… the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of… magic!

But who are these main six?

Well, for there’s Applejack, voiced by Ashleigh Ball, the element of honesty. Getting that role after she told Twilight to fall of a cliff in the second episode:

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! What do I do?

Applejack: Let go.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you crazy?

Applejack: No I ain’t. I promise you’ll be safe.

Twilight Sparkle: That’s not true!

Applejack: Now listen here. What I’m sayin’ to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you’ll be safe.

Wait, wouldn’t it be more accurate to call her the element of dumb luck? For that matter, why didn’t Applejack just say Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were below Twilight and would catch her?

Anyway, Applejack is a kind farm girl known for her simple lifestyle, love of a good competition, and desire to — well, just live her life. Personally, I find her the blandest of all the ponies, however, that doesn’t mean I dislike her. I just find her to be the least interesting of a very interesting cast — the least good pony, if you will.

Really, the only episode she has to herself is Applebuck Season, where she increasingly suffers from sleep deprivation because she’s the only one who can work the farm. It’s an okay episode, but even in that, and any other episode where she’s a major character, the best parts are when she fights with other characters. There’s a reason she was overshadowed by an animation error that became a meme in Season Two — wow, hindsight becomes funnier and funnier.

Also, here’s a fun fact: Applejack is known for her Applebucking, which is basically just kicking the fruit off of trees. However, at first she was actually planned to engage in “Applebonking,” or slamming her head against trees to get the fruit out. You can see why that was changed early on in development.

Then there’s Rainbow Dash, also voiced by Ashleigh Ball — boy, that makes some stuff confirmed later pretty weird, but we’ll get to that when we get to that. That also makes Fall Weather Friends, an episode all about a competition between the two, basically just Ashleigh Ball talking to herself.

I’ll give Ball this, I had no idea she voiced two separate characters on this show until I looked it up.

Anyway, Rainbow Dash is the sporty tomboy of the group. She’s most known for her love of competition, going fast, and creating Sonic Rainbooms. She also has a dream of joining the Wonderbolts, more or less the military of this world — I think. To be honest, they preform much more like an entertainment group despite training like a military organization, but I’ll get into that in future reviews.

Her element is the element of loyalty, given to her for not abandoning her new friends when shadow versions of the Wonderbolts tell her to — it makes sense in context, I promise.

I should probably also talk about the Sonic Rainboom. What is a Sonic Rainboom?

Twilight Sparkle: What’s a sonic rainboom?

Pinkie Pie: You really need to get out more. The sonic rainboom is legendary! When a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash gets going sooo fast… Boom! A sonic boom and a rainbow can happen all at once!

Basically, it’s what happens when a Pegasus fly’s really fast.

Oh yeah, I should explain that real quick, in Equestria, there are three different kinds of pony: Pegasus, Unicorns, and Earth Ponies. Pegasus can fly, Unicorns can use magic, and Earth Ponies are drugged so they don’t realize how unfair this system is. What? Look at Pinkie Pie and try to tell me that pony is not on something — it’s a common joke within the fandom for a reason. There are other things like Pegasus being about to walk on clouds and having the ability to control the weather, but that’s the basics of it. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are Pegasus, Rarity and Twilight are Unicorns, and Applejack and Pinkie Pie are Earth Ponies.

I should also note, despite the main difference between Unicorn’s and the other two kind of ponies, that doesn’t mean all Unicorn’s have the same level of magic. As Spike and Twilight explain:

Spike:I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talents!

Twilight Sparkle: True, for ponies whose talents are for things like cooking or singing or math. But what if a unicorn’s special talent is magic?

Because Twilight is special.

Back to the characters, Rainbow Dash’s shining moments are Griffon The Brush-Off where she stands up for her friends, the aforementioned Sonic Rainboom, Over A Barrel where she creates a meme, Suited For Success where she creates another meme, and The Cutie Mark Chronicles where she causes mass puberty.

Anyway, then there’s Pinkie Pie, voiced by Andrea Libman with a singing voice provided by Shannon Chan-Kent, Ponyville’s party throwing master. She’s actually the first one Twilight meets:

Twilight Sparkle: Um… hello?

Pinkie Pie: [prolonged gasp]

Twilight Sparkle: Well, that was interesting all right.

She then breaks into Twilight’s library and throws a welcoming party.

Pinkie Pie: Surprise!

[party whistle blows]

Pinkie Pie: Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were ya? Were ya? Huh huh huh?

Twilight Sparkle: Very surprised. Libraries are supposed to be quiet.

Pinkie Pie: Well, that’s silly! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! Y’see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all “hello” and I was all [deep gasp], remember? Y’see I’ve never saw you before and if I’ve never saw you before that means you’re new, ’cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville!

Twilight Sparkle: [groan]

Pinkie Pie: And if you’re new, that meant you haven’t met anyone yet, and if you haven’t met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don’t have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that’s why I went [deep gasp]! I must throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!

In her defense, breaking and entering laws are meant to apply in situations unrelated to parties.

Pinkie is the Element of Laughter, named that after she laughs in the face of danger. Literally, there’s a scary looking tree, and she just laughs at it — because she’s weird. Also, I guess Nightmare Moon’s best guards are scary looking trees — but that’s a rant for later.

Pinkie Pie loves to make her friends happy, and she believes the best way to do that is with good old fashion fun and games. Hence why she’s also the best party pony in all of Equestria — and always will be, but we’ll get to that when we get to that.

She is also really worried about her own failure, as seen in the episode Party Of One where she went insane because she was worried nopony was appreciating her parties. Her reason? Because they didn’t show up to one party a day after her last one — I would judge it, but I love that episode so I won’t.

She also has a Pinkie sense. What is the Pinkie sense? It’s basically Rheumatic disorder — except it happens to a Pink pony and therefore it’s funny and cute.

Overall, Pinkie can be my favorite pony. In fact, in a bad episode she is usually the highlight, bringing laugh after laugh while every other character is acting dumb. In fact, I’d promise you she’s the pony who remains in character the most (not all the time — but we’ll get to that), and we love her for that.

There’s also a method to her madness, of course. Swarm Of The Century plays with this hilariously. I’m not going to give away the ending, but you spend the whole episode thinking she’s gone insane and is blind to reality, however she not only has a plan, but solves the conflict with creatures nopony else knew anything about.

Next up is Fluttershy, also voiced by Andrea Libman, who’s a tree:

Pinkie Pie: [whispering] Fluttershy’s not a tree, silly!

Twilight Sparkle: What’s going on?

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash thinks Fluttershy’s a tree!

Rainbow Dash: [whispering] I do not think she’s a tree! I was just–

Twilight Sparkle: Did you say she was a tree?

Rainbow Dash: [whispering] No. Well.. Yes. But not exactly–

Twilight Sparkle: Ya know she’s not a tree, right?

Pinkie Pie: She’s not a tree, Dashie!

Fluttershy: I’d like to be a tree…

Oh, you knew that was coming. Yeah, if you can’t tell, I find this show to be really funny.

Anyway, Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness. She is also really good with animals, and as such takes care and basically lives with them. In fact, when she sees that Princesses Celestia’s pet bird is sick, she kidnaps — birdnaps? — him to take care of him — but it turns out the bird was never sick anyway, because that bird is a dick.

Fluttershy is also — well, shy. Actually, shy is an understatement. In early seasons, she basically had the worst version of social anxiety the general audience has ever seen. That is until someone messes with her friends. Even a dragon who she spent the whole episode being afraid of gets a good talking down when he messes with the those Fluttershy cares about.

Oh, and she has The Stare. Something that is only mentioned through whispers unless it’s being used:

Rarity: Ahh! Did you use… the Stare on her?

Fluttershy: Oh, no! I wouldn’t! I couldn’t! I-I don’t really have any control over when that happens. I-It just happens. No, I’m just good with animals. It’s my special gift, you know?

It’s basically an intimidation tactic. Because the shy, nice, and socially anxious pony obviously has a tactic to make you bend to her will — because why wouldn’t she. Trust me, we’ll get into her genius manipulation tactics in the later seasons, especially regarding a certain villain who’s introduced next season, but Fluttershy is way more evil than she seems.

Wow, I basically mentioned everything she does in Season One without even trying. Oh, there’s this weird part of Winter Wrap Up where she explains hibernation to Spike:

Spike: Uh, what’s “hibernation”?

Fluttershy: It’s like a long sleep.

Spike: Long sleep?

Fluttershy: Yes. [bell rings] Wake up, little porcupines. Animals often hibernate through the winter to save their energy and eat less food.

Spike: I definitely like the idea of hibernation, uh, except for the “eat less food” part.

Yeah, despite the entire season having the e/i rating, as mentioned above, this is the only time throughout the season something like this happens. The only reason I mention this is because I find it really odd the assistant to Twilight wouldn’t know something as basic and well known as hibernation.

Now onto the Unicorns, the first of which being Rarity, played by Tabitha Germain, with a singing voice provided by Kazumi Evans. The Element of Generosity, and the ultimate fashion designer of the group — even being able to combine these two talents to make six dresses in a short period of time, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Rarity spent the first couple of seasons basically being just on the verge of her career taking off — seriously, stop laughing. I would make fun of this, but her career actually does take off in later seasons, which I’ll get to when we get to it.

Lastly, there’s Twilight Sparkle, voiced by Tara Strong, the Element of Magic, and the student of Princess Celestia who lives in Ponyville to study the magic of Friendship.

Twilight started the show as asocial, studying and gaining knowledge to the exclusion of having any social life. She’s a lovable little nerd who is trying to know as much about the world as possible — and until very recently, she had not managed to include the social side of life into that equation.

At the end of very episode, Twilight writes a letter to Celestia telling her (and us) what she learned that week. This leads me to my main issue with Twilight, she’s forced into every episode — usually for no reason.

The worst examples are:

• She has basically no role in Griffon The Brush-Off besides denying what Pinkie Pie is saying about Gilda.
• She wants a sleepover, despite that going against everything we’ve been told about her, in Look Before You Sleep.
• She decides to run a marathon for — well, not no reason but little reason, in Fall Weather Friends.
• She gets turned into stone for a short period of time in Stare Master.
• She’s just kind of — there, for no real reason, in Green Isn’t Your Color.

That’s six episodes where she gets forced in all because the plot demands that we have Twilight so we can learn a lesson. This is an issue that gets fixed in Season Two (before the letters are just kind of dropped all together) so I’ll talk more about that in that review.

Any other characters I can talk about. Well, there’s Spike, voiced by Cathy Weseluck, who is Twilight’s pet/assistant/little brother all rolled into one. I like Spike, at least, I don’t hate him. With that said, he got the short end of the stick for season one — and most of the seasons, now that I think about it. Basically, if you do hate him, I don’t blame you.

The only episode that’s really about him is Owl’s Well That Ends Well, where he gets jealous of an Owl named Owlowiscious. It goes exactly how you’d expect with no twists and an equally low amount of turns.

And that’s all the major characters — right? I mean, I could talk about Celestia, voiced by Nichole Oliver, the only alicorn besides Luna, meaning she has both wings, allowing her to fly and a unicorn horn, meaning she can do magic. Considering she also has the role of a princesses — okay, I’ll talk about the CMC.

The CMC, or Cutie Mark Crusaders, made up of Applejack’s sister Applebloom, voiced by Michelle Creber, Rarity’s sister Sweetie Bell, voiced by Clarie Corlett with a singing voice for the first three seasons also provided by Michelle Creber, and Scootaloo, voiced by Madeleine Peters, who’s a chicken:

Apple Bloom: Here, chick-chick-chick-chick-chick! Brawck, bawk-bawk-bawk, brawck!

Scootaloo: What are you doing?

Apple Bloom: Callin’ for the chicken!

Scootaloo: That is not how you call a chicken.

Apple Bloom: Oh, and you know how to call a chicken?

Scootaloo: I know that’s not the way.

Apple Bloom: Then show me.

Scootaloo: I don’t have to show you!

Apple Bloom: You’re just chicken!

Scootaloo: Am not!

Apple Bloom: Oh, wait, now I know how to call a chicken! Scootaloo! Scoot-scootalooooo!

To properly explain these three, first I need to tell you about Cutie Mark’s. A Cutie Mark is something a pony gets when they discover “their special talent.” As their teacher Ms. Cheerle, voiced by Nicole Oliver, explains:

Cheerilee: I had decided to become a teacher, and the flowers symbolized my hope that I could help my future students bloom if I nurture them with knowledge. The smiles represented the cheer I hope to bring to my little ponies while they were learning.

I mean — obviously. Flowers mean become a teacher. You don’t get it? Well then you’re the weird one.

All three of these children were untied by lacking a Cutie Mark. As such, they also get bullied by Diamond Tiara, voiced by Chantal Strand, and Silver Spoon, voiced by Shannon Chan-Kent— who nobody likes, at all.

I should also note, despite not being related to Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo is obsessed with her — to the point where I honestly don’t see why they didn’t just make her Rainbow Dash’s sister. Like, was there some rule that states Rainbow Dash can never have a sister? Because otherwise it really doesn’t make any sense Scootaloo would obsess over this one pony — okay, we find out later a lot of ponies obsess over Rainbow Dash, but we’ll get to that when we get to that.

But seriously, in The Cutie Mark Chronicles, Scootaloo mentions Rainbow Dash more than Rainbow Dash actually speaks.

Scootaloo: Yeah! And we can start with the coolest pony in Ponyville.

Apple Bloom: Applejack!

Sweetie Belle: Rarity!

Scootaloo: Come on, guys, I said “cool”! You know who I’m talking about. She’s fast. She’s tough. She’s not afraid of anything!

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Pinkie Pie?

Scootaloo: No! The greatest flyer ever to come out of Cloudsdale.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Fluttershy?

Scootaloo: No! Rainbow Dash!

. . .

Scootaloo: Hey! I thought we were gonna ask Rainbow Dash.

. . .

Scootaloo: How did we get roped into this? Oh, we’ll never hear Rainbow Dash’s story.

“Rainbow Dash” this, “Rainbow Dash” that, why can’t we ever talk about me and my problems?

As a group, they appear in four episodes throughout Season One — the only one which is truly bad is The Show Stoppers. Why Show Stoppers? Well, that’s the one where they get a clubhouse, and, despite their entire goal being finding their special talents, we get this:

Apple Bloom: Whoa! Hi, Scootaloo! Back already? You’re amazin’ on that scooter.

Scootaloo: Thanks! Wow, Apple Bloom. You did all of this?

Apple Bloom: Yep! I’ve fixed the broken shutters, sanded off the splinters, rebuilt the roof, painted…

. . .

Apple Bloom: There you are, Sweetie Belle! See? I told you we could find her by following her totally awesome voice.

Scootaloo: What’s that sweet tune you’re singing?

Sweetie Belle: Oh. I was just working on our new Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song.

I would tell you to remember this scene, but I don’t know need to because you will remember it — as I do, a decade later. Yep, they got their talents revealed in their second episode, takes them until Season Five to get their Cutie Mark’s though, but we’ll get to how that was screwed up when we get to it.

I figured I should also talk about the overarching story of the season. In episode three, The Ticket Master, Twilight gets the following note from The Princesses:

Spike: [clears throat] Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.

Every character wants to go for one reason or another, Applejack because:

Applejack: If I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin’ our tasty vittles ’til the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin’ up ‘round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big McIntosh could replace that saggy old plow, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip.

Pinkie Pie because:

Pinkie Pie: It’s the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I’ve always always always wanted to go!

Rainbow because:

Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts perform at the Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now… Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on the Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash!

Again, they “preform” despite being a military force — blah.

Fluttershy because:

Fluttershy: It’s not so much the Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most beautiful and fragrant in all of Equestria. For the night of the gala, and that night alone, would they all be in bloom… and that’s just the flora! Don’t get me started on the fauna. There’s loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz. White-blue jays, and red jays, and green jays, pink jays and pink flamingos!

And Rarity because:

Rarity: I would stroll through the gala, and everyone would wonder, “Who is that mysterious mare?” They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, “Yes!” We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is [giggles] what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams.

I have to admit, I find it hilarious how Applejack wants to go because of business while everyone else just wants to go — because. Rarity’s explanation gets mocked the most, as she just wants a boyfriend, but I think Fluttershy’s is actually the worst all things considered.

Why does she want to go? Because she can meet all kinds of animals. Yeah, that’s great and all, isn’t that what she does anyway? She lives with animals 24/7, but the ones outside the old tripe G are just that special.

This is next mentioned in Suited For Success — eleven episodes later. Basically, all of the other five need her to make dresses for the Grand Galloping Gala — despite the fact we don’t see the Gala for another half season (this episode aired on 2/4/2011 and the episode where they go to the Gala wasn’t until 5/6/2011 — three months later).

I know a lot of people love this episode, but here is a full list of all the things I remember about it:

1. This is the “20% cooler” episode. In fact, if we’re ever talking about this episode, I’m more likely to remember it as “the 20% cooler” episode than the episode by title.

Even the chapter about it from Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student was garbage. As one commenter put it:

I don’t want to sound like a dick, and I especially don’t want to make someone feel even slightly disgruntled if they didn’t deserve it. But since your not one of those people, I will say with confidence this chapter dudded worse than a critical missile in a dogfight. At least then one would get the relief of death. — RedvsBlue327, 7/11/2012

Okay, that’s unfair. The episode itself teaches the important lesson of “sometimes people know more about a topic than you do, especially if they do that thing for a living.” As a political commentator, I find myself needing to teach other people that lesson a good amount of the time.

They actually go to the Gala in The Best Night Ever, and it’s a disaster:

• Applejack barley sells anything because, while her apple products are good, the upper class have the same taste in this show as they do in real life.
• Pinkie Pie’s party skills work more for a casual party and not a formal event.
• The Wonderbolt’s never have a chance to meet Rainbow Dash.
• The animals are all oddly mean to Fluttershy for no reason, kind of like how she had no reason to come in the first place now that I think about — oh, it took me ten years but I finally got it! Holy Shit! Amy Keating Rogers you absolute genius!
• Rarity’s date is a disaster. In another genius twist, Blueblood, the pony Rarity lusts after, not only wants the more special treatment than Rarity wants, but also acts like a flanderized version of Rarity.
• And Twilight just spends the entire time shaking hands with other people, never getting to enjoy herself.

However, don’t you worry, because it seems like this is just what the almighty Celestia intended:

Twilight Sparkle: Pardon me, Princess, but tonight was just awful.

Princess Celestia: Oh, Twilight. The Grand Galloping Gala is always awful.

Twilight Sparkle: It is?

Princess Celestia: That is why I was thrilled you were all attending. I was hoping you could liven things up a bit. And while the evening may not have gone as you planned, I’m sure you’ll agree that in the end it didn’t turn out so bad for this group of friends.

I’ll get into this in future seasons, but Celestia is such a troll and we love her.

Anything else to go over? I mean, I guess there’s the minor characters and small, but noteworthy, pieces of lore.

In Griffon The Brush-Off, we meet Gilda, voiced by Maryke Hendrikse, and are introduced to the concept of Griffins. Gilda acts like an asshole for awhile, gets told off my Rainbow Dash, leaves, and we don’t hear from her for another couple of seasons.

Then, in Boast Busters, we meet:

Trixie: Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!

Voiced by Kathleen Barr, the only voice actress to have been in previous generations of MLP, she plays a character I love — later on. I love Trixie from Season Three and Season Six — as of now, she’s okay I guess. All watching Boast Busters makes me want to do though is watch Magic Duel or No Second Prances — but we’ll get to them in due time.

Then we have Zecora, voiced by Brenda Crichlow, first introduced in Bridle Gossip, although she becomes a major minor character throughout the rest of the series. This zebra can only speak in rhymes, has a weird obsession with magic, and lives in a hut in the woods mostly doing magic and drinking potions. Yeah — we’ll get to that in a minute.

Although I like Zecora, she really doesn’t get to shine until later seasons. And even then, it usually feels like she’s a plot device and not a character. With that said, she’s quite a fun plot device, so I’ll let it slide — for now.

The episode Over A Barrel also introduced you to the Buffalo, who are Native Americans. There’s really nothing else to them, it’s basically just a metaphor for the conflict between Native Americans and European settlers — oh, but the Buffalo get a pie in their face so it’s fine.

The same episode also introduces Applejack’s cousin Braeburn, who represents European settlers and not much else.

Although they are nothing compared to the best character this episode introduces us to, Bloomberg! Who, like Fluttershy, is a tree. The only reason I mention him is because some of my more politically involved readers might remember the name “Bloomberg” from the news — and now you’re laughing at this idea. Seriously, imagine the two switching places, you might not even notice the difference.

Really, the only other characters who have a massive impact on the episode they’re in are the Diamond Dogs from the episode A Dog And Pony Show. They’re stereotypical bad guys, but they’re fun enough and have some funny moments.

As for worldbuilding, in this season we see Ponyville does a Winter Wrap Up every year where they manually change the season from Winter to Spring. And unicorns are not allowed to use magic because:

Spike: Clean up winter? Who cleans up winter? Don’t they just use magic to change the seasons like they do in Canterlot?

Twilight Sparkle: No Spike, Ponyville was started by Earth ponies, so for hundreds of years they’ve never used magic to clean up winter. It’s traditional.

Yet Rainbow Dash is allowed to use her wings throughout the episode — blah.

Two episodes later, we see it’s the start of fall because the ponies just change seasons whenever they want. We also see Ponyville does an annual — maybe — even called the “Running Of The Leaves” where they run a marathon so the different colored leaves will fall off of trees.

This one they don’t use directly explain why they can’t just use magic for, but I assume it’s for the same reasons they couldn’t use magic during the Winter Wrap Up. Instead, I want to know if running really fast by trees in real life will make the leaves fall off.

As for places outside Ponyville, the only one we really see is in Over The Barrel. In that episode, the main six go to — what’s it called again:

Braeburn: Hey there! Welcome ta A-A-ppleloosa!

There’s not really much to say about that place, I just really like that line.

Okay, now let’s move onto the songs. There are sixteen songs in Season One, and they’re of different degrees of quality. I should also note, I’m only talking about songs that are longer than thirty seconds, so no The Ticket Song or Evil Enchantress.

First up is The Laughter Song, also sometimes called Giggle At The Ghostly, sung by Pinkie Pie. It’s a good song, and one that doubles as really good advice, although it would be much more effective if the scary thing they were laughing at wasn’t a mildly creepy tree.

I also like how the two unicorns react to the idea of a song when it starts:

Pinkie Pie:When I was a little filly and the sun was going down…

Twilight Sparkle: Tell me she’s not…

Pinkie Pie:The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown…

Rarity: She is.

A song in MLP? Who could ever believe in such a silly concept?

Then there’s Pinkie’s Gala Fantasy Song, also sung by Pinkie Pie. It’s short, only clocking it at forty seconds, but it’s okay for wasting some time in an otherwise repetitive episode. Also, is it just me or does Pinkie’s singing voice sound like it’s being done by a really young girl?

You know, the next three songs, The Ticket Song, Hop, Skip, And Jump, and Evil Enchantress are all also sung by Pinkie. All three also violate my thirty second rule which I just set up a few paragraphs ago. As such, the only reason I mention them is to point out that Pinkie Pie sings really often — and that’s why we love her.

The next real song is Winter Wrap Up, sung by everyone, although primarily by Twilight. This was one of the most beloved song of Season One, and looking bad, I understand why — it was only like the second actual musical number.

Okay, it’s not a bad song, but it’s one of those songs I know could be made better but I’m not sure how. I feel like it goes on slightly too long, but I don’t know what should be cut. It is a really nice song to listen though, and I do enjoy it well enough — I just know something is wrong about it but I can’t for the life of me figure out what.

Art Of The Dress is another song that was beloved back in Season One, but this one I do dislike — at least, I dislike the lyrics — and do know what could be cut. The song, overall, is over four minutes long (the music video uploaded by the official MLP YouTube channel is four minutes and thirty three seconds long — which it did not need to be) and just goes on and on.

The song only gets this time by not turning off the background music during the dialogue sections. And I mean at two different points of this music videos, they go over thirty seconds without singing. There’s a reason the main thing everyone remembers about this song is the 20% cooler meme — wait a minute, that sounds like Suited For Success in general.

Although who could forget about those lyrics:

Rarity: I’m sewing them together!

. . .

Rarity:Hour by hour, one more change/I’m sewing them together, take great pains

Hush Now Lullaby, sung by Fluttershy and Sweetie Bell — but mainly Sweetie Bell — is the cutest and funniest thing ever and the only good thing the CMC gave us in Season One. Also, yes, want to be robot’s talent is singing still, I’m still annoyed at this. But we’ll get to the failure that was the episode where the CMC get their cutie mark in a later review.

The only thing I want to say about the Cutie Mark Crusaders Song, sung by the Chicken, is that he’s suppose to sing like he’s drunk, and he succeeds.

But seriously, this is one of the few times I’ve seen something try to be so bad it’s good and actually succeed. I find this song, if you’re watching the video at least, to be hilariously bad. Everything from the makeup that looks like the three went through a car-wash after putting on face-paint for a football game, to the scenery that is trying to be “too edgy for me” from people who the edgiest thing they’ve ever seen is The Nightmare Before Christmas or Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, to the lyrics that don’t even rhyme. This is the funniest failure I’ve ever seen, and I don’t like the CMC so laughing at their failure is really fun.

You Got to Share, You Got to Care, sung by Pinkie Pie, is also hilarious bad, just as its suppose to be in universe. The only thing I want to mention about this song is this:

Both our diets, I should mention

Are completely vegetarian

We all eat hay and oats

Why be at each other’s throat?

Wait a minute Pinkie, didn’t you say this while narrating the Running Of The Leaves:

Spike: And Spike. Looks like Rainbow is doing her best to catch up.

Pinkie Pie: I’m not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest. Now, in a hot dog eating contest it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally, I prefer mustard.

I’m onto you.

So Many Wonders, sung by Fluttershy, is also a good song. With that said, despite being only fifty seconds long it changes genre twice and Fluttershy can’t stop herself from suddenly getting Pinkie Pie’s voice because of course she does, this was Season One so Pinkie Pie was the only one allowed to sing.

Pinkie Pie’s Singing Telegram, sung by — take a guess, seriously, take a guess, is a fun song, for whatever that’s worth. Although that’s all Season One songs with Pinkie Pie so it’s nothing special.

At the Gala, sung by the entire main six, is basically plot exposition — although it really just recaps what was established in The Ticket Master. With that said, the way the lyric “At the Gala” is stretched out kind of annoys me. Yeah, I don’t much like this song — I admit from a technical standpoint it’s fine but at the same time I personally don’t like the lyric stretching.

The last song worth talking about is Pony Pokey, and if you can’t guess who it was sung by you aren’t paying attention. This is the most energetic song of the season, and personally my favorite. Plus, the way it connects what Pinkie is singing versus what the main six are up to is just hilarious — seriously, I love it.

So what do I think of the songs overall? They’re fine, but it commonly feels like the writers were trying to shove them in within much thought. According to Wikipedia, there are sixteen songs spread out over thirteen of the sixteen episodes. That’s at least one every other episode — and, if you couldn’t tell — most of them went to Pinkie.

In fact, out of the sixteen songs, here are the amount of them where each pony has a decent part to play. I’m not counting Winter Wrap Up for anyone other than Twilight nor am I counting Art Of The Dress For anyone other than Rarity. I’m also only counting singing, so things like Twilight talking in The Ticket Song don’t count:

• Twilight:2 [1 Shared]
• Rarity: 2 [1 Shared]
• Fluttershy: 4 [3 Shared]
• Rainbow Dash: 1 [1 Shared]
• Applejack: 1 [1 Shared]
• Pinkie Pie: 11 [2 Shared]
• Any of the CMC: 2 [1 Shared]

Pinkie got eleven songs, nine of which were solo. Meanwhile, two of the main six did not get a solo song — and they didn’t get any kind of songs until the last episode of season one!

Okay, now let’s talk about my least favorite episodes.

Boast Busters was a mediocre episode with the generic moral of “don’t be arrogant.” I wouldn’t have an issue with it — but the main six are just as arrogant only talking about how they can “outshow” Trixie, which I guess is the biggest issue with her ego.

Seriously, listen to the dialogue:

Spike: Please! She’s unbearable! Ya gotta show her! Ya just gotta!

. . .

Applejack: That’s it! I can’t stand for no more of this!

Spike: You show her, AJ!

Applejack: Can your magical powers do this?

. . .

Spike: What we need is another unicorn to challenge her. Someone with some magic of her own.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who’s boss.

Applejack: A real unicorn to unicorn tussle.

. . .

Spike: Well Twilight, guess it’s up to you. Come on, show her what you’re made of.

Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean? I’m nothing special.

Spike: Yes, you are! You’re better than her!

Yeah Trixie, you can’t be arrogant — and even then, we’re all better than you. The moral is really confused is my point, and the episode overall is just not very entertaining.

Look Before You Sleep turned Twilight into an idiot who suddenly wanted a sleepover despite that contradicting everything we knew about Twilight’s life beforehand.

The episode opens with Rarity and Applejack having the complex and nuanced argument of:

Applejack: Does so.

Rarity: Does not.

Applejack: Does so.

Rarity: Does not.

Applejack: Does so.

Rarity: Does not.

Applejack: Does so infinity. Hah.

Rarity: Does not infinity plus one. Heh. What say we go our separate ways before one of us says something she will regret?

Applejack: I reckon y’all are gonna say something you’ll regret first.

Rarity: On the contrary, I believe it shall most certainly be you who says something you will regret first.

Applejack: I’m not sayin’ anythin’.

Rarity: Nor am I.

Anyway, because its raining — actually, let me sum it up really quick: You ever watch that Spongebob episode Pineapple Fever? It’s kind of like that — expect with a slumber party. Why is there a slumber party? Because:

Twilight Sparkle: You and Applejack should totally sleep over! We’ll have a slumber party! I’ve always wanted one of those.

Literally the only thing we saw of Twilight’s old life was social opportunities throwing themselves at her and her ignoring them. Remember, this is how we’re introduced to her:

Twinkleshine: There you are, Twilight! Moon Dancer is having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry, girls… I’ve got a lot of studying to catch up on.

Twinkleshine: [sigh] Does that pony do anything except study? I think she’s more interested in books than friends.

Basically, if Twilight wanted a slumber party — she could easily have had a slumber party.

The entire episode is basically Applejack and Rarity arguing with Twilight ignoring it so she can do something we had no reason to think she ever wanted to do. All three of the main characters are total idiots and gets really annoying really fast.

Bridle Gossip randomly turned all the main six into racists for no reason. They then get infected with “poison joke” — get it! — which turns them into:

Spike: Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple Teeny, Flutterguy, and… uh… I got nothin’… Twilight Sparkle. I mean seriously, I can’t even work with that.

Twilight’s horn gets erectile dysfunction.

A Bird In The Hoof is how to do gross out humor in the worst way possible. The animation is always too clean and even then, why would you ever try to do gross out humor in MLP? Also, that bird is a dick!

Then there’s Owl’s Well That End Wells. With such great unforgettable humor as:

Spike: Worried? Do I look worried? I’m not worried. Who’s worried? Hello? Hellooo! Whoa! Dude, that’s creepy. Uh… Hi there! I’m Spike. I’m sure Twilight has told you all about me.

Owlowiscious: Hoo.

Spike: Uh, Spike? You know, assistant number one?

Owlowiscious: Hoo?

Spike: I’m Spike! And who are you? What are you?

Owlowiscious: Hoo!

Spike: Who?

Owlowiscious: Hoo!

Spike: I thought your name was Owlowiscious!

Owlowiscious: Hoo?

Spike: Okay, “Who”, “Owlowiscious”, whatever. I’m Spike, okay? Look! All you need to know is that I’m number one and you’re number two. Got it?

Owlowiscious: Hoo?

Spike: So, a man of mystery, huh? I’m keeping my eye on you! I’ve got eyes in the back of my head too, you know?

They do that joke again:

Spike: [to Owlowiscious] You set me up! Well, two can play that game.

Owlowiscious: Hoo!

Spike: Not “who”! Two! Urgh!

And again:

Spike: And Owlowiscious… I know now that you weren’t out to take my job. Forgive me?

Owlowiscious: Hoo?

Spike: Me. Forgive me, Spike.

And it was never funny once.

The plot is about an owl barging into Twilight’s house and Twilight taking her in as a new assistant, making Spike worry that he’s being replaced. And to be honest, I don’t blame him considering how they treat Owlowiscious the same as they treat Spike.

Don’t believe me? Here’s the main cast phrasing Spike:

Rainbow Dash: Wow, Twilight! You’re lucky to have such a rad assistant. I wish I had someone to do whatever I told them.

Scootaloo: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Me! I’ll do whatever you want, Rainbow Dash!

Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah, pipsqueak? How about taking out the trash?

Scootaloo: Yes ma’am!

Rarity: Do we have Spike to thank again for this amazing spread? Isn’t he simply amazing?

Spike: Oh, come on. [pause] I said come on.

Pinkie Pie: Little Spikey-wikey! Who knew that big ferocious dragon started off so cutesy wootsy?

Rarity: Spike, you are such a little star that I had to make a little bow tie for you.

Here’s them praising that Owl:

Pinkie Pie: Oh, what a fantastical, flufflicious feathery little friend! I’m… Hooked!

Fluttershy: He’s just wonderful.

Spike: [mocking] “He’s just wonderful.” Uh, yes. Wonderful. He’s quite… the charmer.

Rarity: And Owlowiscious is just such a star I just had to make this little bow for you.

Spike: Grrr!

Applejack: What’s he all saddle sore about?

Rainbow Dash: He’s probably just jealous of Owlowiscious.

Fluttershy: Maybe Spike feels threatened or worried that Owlowiscious will replace him?

Twilight Sparkle: Replace him? Hah! That’s crazy! Spike knows he can’t be replaced.

But don’t you worry, they tell us why Spike was irrational:

Twilight Sparkle: Spike. Sure, I was disappointed, but you are my number one assistant! And friend. And you always will be. It’s just that sometimes I need some help at night. I can’t ask you to stay up late. You’re a baby dragon and you need your rest. Owls are nocturnal. So I asked Owlowiscious to help. But not to take your place. No one could ever replace you, Spike. Not even when you are being a jealous numbskull.

— The entire episode took place during the day.

As for my faviorte episodes, Dragonshy is one of the most awesome episodes of the show. The episode is about a Dragon breating smoke all other ponyville when it naps.

Twilight Sparkle: We need to encourage him to take a nap somewhere else. Princess Celestia has given us this mission, and we must not fail. If we do, Equestria will be covered in smoke for the next one hundred years.

Fluttershy being — well, shy, is kind of overplayed in my opinion but I can look past that considering both it was the first time we had an episode focused on Fluttershy and because it makes the ending all the more satisfying.

Swarm Of The Century is also up there for being honestly one of the funniest episodes of Season One. If you’ve ever seen the movie Gremlins (which I haven’t), this episode is very much based off that move. Actually, Dragonshy was based off The Hobbits — the show staff seems to really like referencing things.

Fall Weather Friends showed us a good introduction to the Rainbow Dash/Applejack lesbian relationship — I mean rivalry. Although I’ve basically said anything I already wanted to say on this episode earlier on — so just know it’s a good episode.

Really though, the thing that makes this episode is Pinkie Pie’s narration of the Running Of The Leaves. Seriously, it’s so hilarious that it honestly saves this episode from being just kind of okay.

Feeling Pinkie Keen has some of the funniest slapstick of the show, honestly watching it feels like watching a good old fashion Warner Brothers cartoon. It’s the episode where we get introduced to Pinkie’s Pinkie sense and Twilight goes crazy trying to understand it before realizing she can’t understand it.

I should also note, since I am an atheist, a large number of people took an issue with the moral of this episode. Here’s what Twilight writes to Celestia after excepting the Pinkie Sense:

Twilight Sparkle: I am happy to report that I now realize there are wonderful things in this world you just can’t explain, but that doesn’t necessarily make them any less true. It just means you have to choose to believe in them, and sometimes it takes a friend to show you the way.

A number of people took this as some attempt to push religion onto children — which is nonsense. There are tons of things in science that can’t be explained (or at least, that we can’t explain at the moment) but are real. Nuclear Decay, Virtual Particles, where all the energy released in the Big Bang came from, and so on.

Basically, metaphysical doesn’t always mean religion and even if it did “not explainable” doesn’t always mean metaphysics.

Sonic Rainboom was an awesome episode that helped develop Rainbow Dash’s character. In it, Rainbow Dash is holding competing in an event where she wants to win through creating a Sonic Rainboom — which many ponies think is impossible.

Hoops: Huh, ask her about the sonic rainboom.

”Dumb-Bell”: That’s nothing but an old mare’s tale. You don’t have the skills to try something like that.

Fluttershy: Now wait just a minute! Oh, I’m sorry. I’m trying to be more assertive. Anyhow… She is going to do a sonic rainboom!

”Dumb-Bell”: No she’s not, ’cause there’s no such thing!

The fact that, as we find out later, this isn’t even the first time Rainbow Dash has created one makes these characters all look stupid.

Also, Rarity gets wings through a spell that look more like overgrown butterfly wings than Pegasus wings — because that’s what they are. However, nobody seems to notice that and she’s even allowed to compete with the Pegasus who have natural wings. Isn’t that like allowing people who use steroids to compete in athletic events?

Over A Barrel is like watching the Native American/White Settlers conflict as if explained by Dave Polsky while high off his ass and reading Howard Zinn. It’s honestly the most amazing thing ever — also Fluttershy is a tree.

The Cutie Mark Chronicles is an enjoyable episode showing us how each of the main six got their cutie mark. The entire plot is about the CMC asking all of the main six how they got their cutie marks — and it turns out they all got in through a Sonic Rainboom done by Rainboom Dash.

We also get a small look into the pasts of the main six. Like how Pinkie Pie grew up on a rock farm, Applejack spent some time in the big city trying to be a fashion designer, and Twilight only became Celestia’s student by pure accident. This is something we oddly don’t see all that often, especially early on.

Party Of One is just watching Pinkie Pie go insane for twenty two minutes, and I love it way more than I do. Although, the reason she goes insane is kind of stupid all things considered. Because none of her friends come to her party, she thinks her friends are all trying to avoid her. Why are they trying to avoid her? Because it turns out they’re planning a surprise party for her birthday. Am I the only one who finds it odd that the epic party pony forgot her own birthday?

Lastly, The Best Night Ever manages to take six simple stories and tell them in a funny manner.

So that was Season One, and what did I think? Well, the season does do a good job establishing all the characters and giving them a decent chance to shine. However, it’s very clear the writers are still trying to figure things out and get their grip.

Personally, if you were new to the series, I would not recommend starting with Season One. While many of the episodes are good, I would not classify most of them as my personal favorites and the ones who do have factors that could easily turn off an upcoming fan.

Similar to the Season One’s of most shows, I really only recommend it if you either insist on starting at the beginning or if you’re already a fan and would like to see where the show began. Again, it’s not that Season One is bad, it’s that it’s blown out of the water by basically every other season of the show.

However, this is not the end of the review. You see, as mentioned above, I find this show to be really funny. As such, I figured the best way to end this review is to give you my favorite to quote when you want someone to look at you funny just because:

Nightmare Moon: Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! More guessing games! Um…Pokey Smokes! How about Queen Meanie? No! Black Snooty! Black Snooty — [muffled noises]

. . .

Twilight Sparkle: [to her friends] Quiet!

Pinkie Pie: And then I said “Oatmeal? Are you craz–”

. . .

Pinkie Pie: [during the “earthquake”] Hey! Thiiiis maaaakes myyyyy vooooiiice soooounnnd silllyyyy!!

. . .

Rose: The horror, the horror.

Lily Valley: It was awful.

Daisy: A disaster. A horrible, horrible disaster.

Twilight Sparkle: I don’t get it.

. . .

Gilda: I know what you’re up to.

Pinkie Pie: Great!

Gilda: I know what you’re planning.

Pinkie Pie: Well I hope so! This wasn’t supposed to be a surprise party.

. . .

Gilda: Hey. I’m watching you… like a hawk.

Pinkie Pie: Why? Can’t you watch me like a griffon?

. . .

Pinkie Pie: Ugh. Now I gotta go find a trombone.

Twilight Sparkle: A what?

Pinkie Pie: A trombone, you know: [trombone imitation]

. . .

Rarity: I don’t have time for some silly scavenger hunt! I’ve got a real problem…

Pinkie Pie: You’ve got a real problem all right, and a banjo is the only answer!

. . .

Rainbow Dash: Time to take out the adorable trash!

. . .

Spike: You know Pinkie, these two ponies have a bit of a grudge match they’re trying to settle, trying to prove who’s the most athletic.

Pinkie Pie: Yes, and “grudge” rhymes with “fudge”.

Spike: Yes it… does? What?

Pinkie Pie: And I like fudge, but if I eat too much fudge I get a pudge and then I can’t budge.

Spike: So, no fudge?

Pinkie Pie: No thanks, I had a big breakfast.

. . .

Spike: I don’t believe it! After a huge setback, Applejack is back at the front of the pack!

Pinkie Pie: She’s the head of the pack, all right. The pick of the litter! The CAT’S PAJAMAS! Oh, wait! Why would Applejack take some poor kitty’s PJs? That’s not very sporting of her.

Spike: Oookay… Let’s get back to the race.

. . .

Twilight Sparkle: Wow… They’re…

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, they’re…

Applejack: They sure are… sumth’n.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes! Something.

Pinkie Pie: I love something! Something is my favorite!

. . .

Pinkie Pie: Hey, Applejack. What’cha doin’?

Applejack: Taking more apples to my new apple cellar. How about you, Pinkie? What’cha doin’?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, letting Twilight secretly follow me without me knowing…

. . .

Scootaloo: OK, so that’s six wooden planks, 4x8 plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes. Anything else?

Sweetie Belle: Yeah… Instructions on how to use six wooden planks, 4x8 plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes.

. . .

Scootaloo: We fight the fight! Walk the walk! Talk the talk! Eat the… uh… food. Like a celery stalk?

. . .

Chief Thunderhooves: It appears that Sheriff Silverstar and I have come to… an agreement.

Sheriff Silverstar: We have.

Chief Thunderhooves: That was the worst performance we’ve ever seen…

Sheriff Silverstar: [tisk] Abso-tively.

. . .

Young Rarity: A ROCK?! That’s my destiny?!

. . .

Pinkie Pie: Oh! And Twilight, you shouldn’t hit the books. You should really just read them.

That’s all for now, good night.