Matt Walsh The Children’s Book Author

Johnny The Walrus is the name of the new children’s book by conservative podcast host and writer for The Daily Wire Matt Walsh. The book has sold so well that The Daily Wire is already out of stock just a couple of days after its publication, but luckily Matt has uploaded a reading of the book onto his YouTube channel for anyone who wants to experience this book right now.

The book starts Johnny, a very imaginative young boy, who one day pretends that he is a walrus — wooden spoon tusks and fins made out of socks included. His mother decides to post a picture of Johnny pretending to walrus on an unnamed social media website, leading to thousands of people declaring that Johnny actually is a walrus and should transition into such. One is forced to wonder if she had never posted a picture of her son being imaginative before or if the walrus activists are just more vocal than the dog or crab activists.

I should also note, Johnny is a pretty articulate child for his age:

“I’m Johnny the Walrus,” he said with a roar. “The wood floor’s my ocean, the carpet’s my shore!”

This kid is supposed to be around five and he’s already talking like this.

Yes, the book is written entirely in rhyme, which is something I can commend. Mind you, some of the rhymes are a bit off (at one point, Walsh…