"I asked my wife if she would like to be called 'birthing person' and she just answered with anger. "

Well it would be very weird for you to call her that when she's not giving birth, but I see your point.

As for your point on violence, I understand what you're saying, but I think you're missing some very important details. Yes, there are transgender people who engage in threats of rape, violence, and everything else--there are also anti-transgender feminists who threaten the same of transgender people. Mind you, a transgender person is much more likely to actually be murdered or raped than an anti-transgender feminist, but that's besides the point.

Those people are called assholes, they are called bad people. There are bad transgender people, there are bad cisgender people. There are bad men, there are bad women.

What I'm saying is these threats are a Non sequitur, I myself have gotten threats before from a number of groups--including from anti-transgender users who are angry I criticize them. Does that mean I'm being silenced? Well, I'm talking to you right now so I guess not.